Phyllis Ann (Gilmore) Paetsch

My sweet Mom Phyllis Ann Paetsch (Gilmore) died in my and my sister's arms on Sunday afternoon, March 23rd, 2025.

Phyllis began a truly courageous struggle with early-onset Alzheimer's disease in the summer of 2020. Her son and daughter were with her each step of the way. While it was often very painful, it was also an incredibly meaningful journey for us.

Phyllis was the daughter of Jack and Donna Gilmore (Spokane), and adoring sister to Don Gilmore (Deer Park), Linda Chappell (Spokane-deceased), and Ed Gilmore (Spokane-deceased). She is survived by her son Max Cael (Seattle), daughter Lindsay Cael(Seattle), son-in-law Saurabh Deshpande and two grandchildren, Isha and Rishi Deshpande.

She had many cherished relatives, including her aunt Shirley and uncle Ray Williams (Spangle), as well as her favorite cousin Mallory Anderson (Spokane), along with several close nephews and nieces.

Phyllis went to M'Lady's Cosmetology school in Spokane, and continued cutting hair until just a couple of years ago in her home salon.She enjoyed helping people to feel more beautiful. She had her son Max with Ed Caeland welcomed her daughter Lindsay, 4 years later.

In later life, Phyllis did remarry to Ryan Paetsch. They lived at one point in an old Bing Crosby home, which was certifiably haunted.

She loved her clients, some of whom she had for over 40 years. She was steadfast in gleaning new information, faithfullylistening and advising.  Everyone always thought she’d make a good psychologist because she provided an intuitive, empathetic ear.

She was goofy, sang loud, danced wild, and made everyone around her comfortable. She loved time with her family, barbequing, getting a tan by the swimming pool, and playing a rousing game of Jeopardy. She liked kicking back, drinking too much coffee and eating just enough chocolate. Nevertheless, her yard was always immaculate, her home freshly painted, and her roofing needs personally attended to. She made the best popcorn.

She loved decorating her home for Christmas and would take pride in getting us in the spirit.

For many years, Phyllis was a host for foreign exchange students from Mexico, Saudi Arabia, Hong Kong, and Japan, to name a few. She acted as a surrogate Mom for these folks, happy to help them with their homework and various relationship crises.

The women in her family would call themselves the YaYas, and would dress in ridiculous costumes. They would don gawdy prom dresses and head to the bar together, entertaining the townspeople all the while. Or perhaps they'd get gussied up as flappers and then cruise to the casino to play slots, fond of splitting their winnings so that no one went home empty-handed. In any event, Phyllis was the first to jump at a chance to place a silly wig on her head and party down.

She was beyond proud of her children, forever mythologizing them and so filled to the brim with joy whenever they would visit. They would meet in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, or Spokane, and Mom would just go with the flow, smiling and joking at every turn.

She enjoyed her tunes, heavy in the rotation the likes of Sarah McLachlan and Joni Mitchell, though she knew just about every word from every song from the 1970s.

She was as loyal as can be. She was intelligent. She exemplified what unconditional love truly means and gave it so naturally. Our family wears their love on their collective sleeve, so she definitely had some good mentors.

Phyllis was gentle, kind, funny and scrappy. For me, more importantly than her role as my mother, she was my dear friend and a highly trusted confidante. Her crystal blue eyes closed forever this week. She did not forget me nor my sister. She did not suffer. She will live on in the hearts of all who were lucky enough to know her.

We love you eternally Phyllis.

April 26, 1958 – March 23, 2025

- Care Entrusted to Emmick Family Funeral Home -